On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
