No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
