Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
