i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
