Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
