Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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