Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
