I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
