I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
