and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
