He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
