The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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