I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
