Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
