i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
