strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
