I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We have started to decorate penises.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
