after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think pants incapable of making pants work
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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