you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
