I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
two words: eviction party
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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