This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
