just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
