Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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