worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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