If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
