Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
