he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
