you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
