she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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