We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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