we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
