I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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