I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i barfeds in our rink
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
