capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
