Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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