If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
