When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
