Can i not drive my cunt home
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
