She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
