Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
