just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
