Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
