I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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