i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
