Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
