HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
