you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
