That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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