Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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