I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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