i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
