One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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