Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
